When I first moved to Turkyie I thought my Turkish was decent-ish. I could order food, ask for directions, and even flirt a little (key skill, let’s be honest). But then came the great “hocam/kocam” confusion. And I swear, I’m still recovering. So here’s the deal: hocam means “my teacher” or more casually, “hey man”, it’s this friendly, respectful way of addressing someone. Turkish students use it all the time for professors, coaches, even the guy explaining how to fix your Wi-Fi. Meanwhile, kocam? That means “my husband.”
You see the problem.
Picture this: me, trying to sound casual and cool at a café with some Turkish friends. I wanted to ask a guy something, he was explaining something I didn’t get, so I leaned in and said:
“Kocam, bir dakika sorum var.”
In my head, I was saying, “Hey man, quick question.”
But in reality, I said: “My husband, I have a question.”
The look on his face. My friends’ slow turn toward me. One guy actually choked on his tea.
Lesson learned: A single letter changes everything.
I’ve talked to other foreigners here, and apparently this happens a lot. Especially because Turks pronounce things fast and with this beautiful, smooth rhythm, hocam just glides by and if you’re not careful, your ears (and mouth) betray you.
So, if you're new in Turkey and trying to blend in, here’s a little pronunciation PSA from your Romanian linguist friend:
Hocam = ho-JAHM (like "John" but fancier)
Kocam = ko-JAHM (and congrats, you're now married apparently)
Now I double-check every time. Because once was funny. Twice would just be a reputation.
Have you ever said something totally wrong in Turkish? I’d love to hear your mini-cringe stories let’s bond over our language fails. 😅
—
From Ankara with accidental love,
Moonatic